Influencers Listen

Uncategorized Mar 21, 2021

PAUL TILLICH, An American Theologian and Philosopher said

“The first duty of love is to listen.”

And an Influencer...LISTENS to people

There is an old Nursery Rhyme that goes like this:

A wise old owl sat in an oak,

The more he heard the less he spoke.

The less he spoke the more he heard,

Why can’t we be like that wise old bird?

Many of you are Climbing the “Ladder” to success. And I want to give you something that will help you be better and that is to be better at the art of listening

In Fact, I’m going to take the word L-A-D-D-E-R and make an acronym out it.

So the first letter is L.

And L stands for: Look at the speaker. Make eye contact. In fact, nothing lets the speaker know you are at least trying to pay attention to him or her, by you looking at them. When you’re looking away, it gives off the idea you don’t really care about what the other person is saying.

Listen, Meanings are not in words, but in people.

The A stands for: ASK questions. This is the quickest way to become a listener. Become curious. Ask questions and let the answer lead to another question. Now don’t question them to death, in fact interject some of your experiences as they come up, but at least be interested in them by asking questions.

The D stands for: DON’T interrupt. It’s just as rude to step on people’s ideas as it is to step on their toes.
So when someone is talking, don’t interrupt, with something you need to say, because it gives off the idea that what they are saying is not as important as what you are thinking.

The 2^nd D stands for: DON’T change the subject. Listening is wanting to hear. Again, if someone is in the middle of talking, and they have not finished their thought, don’t change the subject. Make sure they have finished their thought on the subject. Now I know there are times that a subject may bring up another topic and I understand, sometimes you may need to change the subject to get better understanding, or to make them aware of a situation or circumstance they may not be aware of, but don’t do it without asking them if they were finished or do you mind if I change the subject for a second. And if they agree, change the subject for a brief time but then go back to the subject they were talking about.

Then E stands for: EMOTION Check your EMOTIONS.
Leaders must keep “current of the undercurrents.”

Emotions create a storm and others will back away.
Sometimes you can become very passionate about a subject that has been brought up, or you may disagree strongly about something. In order to be a good Influencer and listener, you have to keep your emotions in check. Keep current of the undercurrents that may be flowing.

Listening is sometimes hard, when what is being said, feels like an attack, or against something you hold as a strong value.

But as leaders by keeping your emotions in check will help you to listen more attentively and really hear what is being said, not just what you think is being said. Again this is where you implement more questions to clarify and to truly see what is being said.

R stands for: RESPONSIVE listening. When people feel that their leader no longer listens or responds, they will go somewhere else.

Years ago I had worked for an individual who was not great at listening. In fact, when employees, who had great ideas, or who had some difficulty that needed to be resolved, and would go to this leader, they would either walk out of the conversation or would shut the person down by saying well, that’s not my problem, you take care of it.

Needless to say, many people quite going to this leader and in fact, many good employees left this job. Always remember, people don’t quit companies, they quit leaders.

Let me give you what I call the

“4 H” questions to become a better listener

1) What is their HEART? What do they value. What gives them their why.

2) What is their HOPE? What motivates them. What are they going after, their dreams and desires.

3) What is their HURT? What are they afraid of mostly. What de-motivates them.

4) How can I HELP? What can I do to help them be better, as a person, and as an employee. Where can I add value to them.

1) What is their HEART?

2) What is their HOPE?

3) What is their HURT?.

4) How can I HELP?

Good listening skills can make you a more productive leader and influencer.

Are You A Good Listener?